I've been thinking about writing this blog entry for some time now, but was having a hard time putting into words what I've felt for the past 6 and a half months. I'm still not really sure I can fully express the amazement I feel with this beautiful, delightful, little creature that is my baby.
As all my mom friends may know, even after all those pregnancy hormones have subsided, I'm finding that I am more emotional than I've ever been. Something happened to me the day I found out I was having a baby. I was no longer just Anny Hunt. I was TWO-in-one! I never imagined that I could love this tiny little being inside of me that I've never even met so much. And, then, Vincent Tomi Hunt was born, and I love him more than I knew possible.
I'm not saying that everyday is just awesome and beautiful. Believe me, I've had to adjust to this motherhood thing big time. I'm still adjusting. With all this love, came so much guilt. For me, at least. And, the amount of pressure I put on myself. I don't think I prepared myself very well to be a mother. I mean, we were ready with the crib, changing table, cloth diaper service, car seat, stroller, baby book, clothes (although most of them didn't fit, so maybe not so ready with clothes), books, toys, even baby proofing stuff that we're just now going to start using. I just don't think I really thought about what kind of mother I am going to be. I didn't do much reading. Heck, the only books on having a baby that we had were about actually having the baby...child birth. No Dr. Sears, no breastfeeding help books, not even the American Academy of Pediatrics book. I just thought, "I'm going to be loving & caring, and what more is there to it?" Much more.
Breastfeeding, pumping, milk supply, reflux, color of poop, cradle cap, mis-shapen head, tummy time, elimination communication, all the choices of cloth diapers...my obsessions go on. All this, and more, to think about for such a small person. I have gone from one obsession to another. I can't believe I'm even admitting to all of this. I guess I can because I don't think I'm alone. I'm sure with other moms, if it's not one of the above, it's gotta be something else. But, you know what? Vincent has been worth all of it.
Being a mother has been the best thing I've ever done in my life. Every morning, when I hear Vincent's little voice on the monitor, I'm am overjoyed thinking about the first time I get to see him that day. And, when David and I go into his room to say "Good morning" and he's smiling up at us, my heart melts. And, we are like buddies, Vincent and I. We go on outings, we play together, we ride the bus, take walks, take naps, pick on Buster, do chores (when we can).
I am amazed each day that I helped create this person! Every single little part of him. Being a part of all that is new to him, all the growth and learning, has been such an incredible experience. With each stage in his life so far, I want to freeze him there forever, only to find that the next stage is even better than the last.
I can't wait to see what all my dear baby boy has in store for this world!
P.S. - I couldn't have found a better man to be my baby daddy.
I think this is supposed to be Vincent's new smile. He started working on it over the weekend.
Happy Father's Day! You only get your first Father's Day once in your life. To celebrate this special day, we have officially started Vincent on table foods. We opted to bypass rice cereal and started him off with avocado (mixed with breastmilk). He LOVED it!
Side note: we have been cheating a little up until now. This morning he got to try tiny tastes of sticky rice & Asian style bbq pork. Tomorrow we'll strictly do just avocado.
